fall back down

( falling back downnn )



to me, joining a comp is like;
- runninng a hundred laps
- having isomnia for 13 years
- memorising fifteen chapters of notes when the
exam is only an hour away
- expected to do a water ballet when you dont even
know how to swim




drained, panic, scary -
and its like you have got to stuff a cow inside your brain.
( literally that many things, in a short period of time )
i dont wish to break the record.
i dont wish to fail my first attempt.
i dont wish to be buried by guilt and moreee guilt.
i dont wish to be such a bad dancer



as usual, here comes the IF,
so all would not have been a problem
IF only,
im a better dancer.
a better learner.
a better choreographer.
a better..
just a better ME! grrfgghhh
YES. ( if )




- sorry -