clueless

for the past few hours.
has been constantly looking for skins.
and wondering if i should photoshop one.
but think back.
i think i photoshop like shit.
grrfgh.
( so think i should just forget about it )
-sighhs. newskin?
BUT. where? which?


finally met up with qin and linn ytd.
have to admit that aft so long of not meeting.
many stuff changes.
like. the obvious different life we're leading now.
and i begin to think of the talks we had.
who the hell could tell me,
why am i living like so aimlessly now.
my friends?
they knew what they wanna be in the future.
and working towards it.
BUT me?
like shit? idk.
dont even know what i COULD be in the future.
( seriously losing faith )


i need a compass.
something to tell me my direction.
where i am now; where should i head.
this feeling kinda suck.
knowing u're nothing but a typical example of
a somebody living to waste natural resources.
leave me screaming.
im just angry at myself.


im like really left helpless.
tell me what to do will you?
everything beyond control.
i didnt meant to drift ( if you were to say i did )
saying i should leave these alone?
time might do the job?
like. SHIT. i dont even know if i should trust ' time '
( acting like im a friend of time )
i dont know.
dont push me.
im like so dead worrying about how sucky
im gonna do tmr.
like how funny im gonna look and stuff
doing the dance.
den to kill my brain cells thinking of solutions.
( closing an eye i should )


tomorrow! o shit
im gonna be like so dead. i bet.
whyyy? dance hasnt been that scary before.
like suddenly im so worried.
pray i'll not screw it up
( thou i think i most prob might )
ahhh. SLEEP!
stop scarying yourself with those thoughts!
( blowws )